


Alone

by haydenhoe



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), kylux - Fandom
Genre: Death, General Hux - Freeform, Hux - Freeform, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Millicent - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 23:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6446080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haydenhoe/pseuds/haydenhoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren is killed by Rey on a distant planet, and the news reaches Hux, who struggles to cope with losing his lover</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment to tell me what you think, I'd love to hear from you! (Warning; Brief mentions of sex)

Alone 

Kylo Ren was dead.  
Hux was alone.  
Alone.  
A L O N E 

That was the word that bounced against Hux's head again and again, over and over, never relenting. His brain was incapable of doing anything else, except make the room seem to spin round like some cruel, horrific, grief-ridden carousel. 

He sat alone at the desk in his room, drinking far too much brandy, and squeezing tears from his worn out eyes. He couldn't stop himself from looking over at the bed, where Ren usually resided, making snide comments, and more often than not, wilfully being the recipient of Hux's midnight fantasies.

Every time his eyes slid over, a fresh wave of sorrow would hit him full on- like being caught in a furious avalanche.

Lieutenant Mitaka had delivered the news earlier on in the day. At first, Hux felt nothing, he was able to block out his emotion with his work, but the second that the day slipped into evening, he lost control and his mask of indifference shattered.

His lover had been struck down and killed by that wretched scavenger girl Rey, on a planet Hux couldn't remember the name of. She had taken Kylo's life, his memories, his soul and his feelings, as well as mutilating his physical being. What she'd also done was ripped away half of Hux, brutally torn Kylo from him, after such a short period of time. 

 

"Ben Solo." Hux reminisced to himself, the corners of his mouth turning up ever so slightly. A name he'd never, ever forget. The man behind the mask. The one he loved, truly. Kylo had always hated the name, but Hux secretly liked it because it showed a different side to him. The side that laughed at Hux's awful jokes, the side that handled Millicent the cat with care, the side that allowed Hux to leave lovebites wherever he wanted to, and not give two shits if anyone asked about them. 

It was also the side, along with the evil, cruel, twisted side, the one that killed his father and blew up planets, that was dead. Murdered. Gone. 

Remembering this, Hux screamed through gritted teeth and hurled his glass across the room. It smashed loudly, and the smithereens scattered across the floor, a couple embedding themselves in Hux's shoes, and one hitting Millicent in the stomach.

She hissed and snarled at the sliver of glass, and leaped onto the bed, fur standing on end.

Hux rose from his chair and went over to the hissing cat on the bed, and sat down next to her. Sensing his grief and anger, she began purring and jumped onto his shoulders, her favourite nesting place. 

At this kind gesture, another flood of tears escaped, and Hux retrieved Millicent from his shoulders and into his arms, where she stayed, purring against his neck. He stroked her short fur over and over again, scratching behind her ears and running his fingers through her tail. She lapped up the attention and gave a mew of satisfaction. 

Hux bowed his head and cried into her soft fur. Her claws kneaded his chest, piercing through his clothes, but he didn't care. It was a tiny droplet of insignificant pain in the ocean of depression he was drowning in. 

He laid down on the bed, and placed his head on the firm pillows. Millicent came to rest on his stomach, where he continued to stroke her fondly. 

He could still smell Kylo's scent on them, a scent that he loved, yet could not describe. It didn't smell of a particular thing, it was just... Kylo's. 

Unexpectedly, everything in the room began to remind him of Kylo. The bed, where he would spend the night being reduced to a moaning mess under Hux's touch, the desk, where he would pour his heart and soul into long, frivolous love letters for Hux to discover in the bin. The window, where he'd sit and peacefully watch the swirling nebulae in the distance, not saying a word. The 'fresher, where Ren would put on a bit of a show for Hux, then smirk and say "You like what you see?"

Hux's mind wandered to how Ren might've died. Was it swift? Painless? Or was it drawn out and agonizing? Did Kylo think of him as he passed? Questions that would never be answered.

He would give everything, anything at all up, to even catch a glimpse of his beloved Ren, even if it were to last only a nanosecond, it would be worth it to him. 

But he wouldn't ever get to see him again, as he was cold, white and stiff, six foot under in some foreign planet he would've hated. Or perhaps they had cremated him, and scattered his ashes, so that particles of him blew about in the galaxy, reaching every corner of it. Hux preferred that thought, and that way they'd someday be reunited, even only in the form of atoms.

As Millicent purred away on his stomach, he thought of Kylo yet again, and how at 4am, after a night of kissing, drinking and smoking, he'd lay down on the bed, and Hux would lay the opposite way, so that his head rested on Kylo's stomach, and for the rest of the night they'd talk nonsense, about anything that popped into their heads. It was that, the elated feeling of those late night epiphanies they shared, that Hux cherished, more than any stolen kisses or steamy sex sessions, because it was when he got to get inside Kylo's mind, to see more of the side he adored. 

He wondered what would become of Kylo, now he was dead. Would he become a ghost, a visual representation of residual spiritual energy, wandering, unseen, or would he become an angel, with large feathery white wings? Hux thought Kylo would prefer black wings, so he assigned those to his lover's imaginary angel. 

He imagined Kylo looking down on him, surrounding him, being everywhere yet nowhere, filling the room yet remaining invisible. It comforted him, to think that Kylo was at peace, and watching over him, protecting him from harm. 

With that thought in mind, Hux was able to drift into a deep, deathlike sleep.

When he awoke, he thought not of ghosts or angels, but of the cruel, raw pain of grief, stabbing him multiple times all over his body, tearing ugly sobs from his throat, leaving him clutching at this heart and struggling for breath. 

He searched desperately for Kylo, checking in the most ridiculous places like under the pillow and behind the desk. 

"Where have you gone?" he screamed on repeat, as if Kylo was just hiding, and was going to pop up at any second and kiss all Hux's fears away. 

But it soon dawned on him that Kylo was never coming back, not now, not ever. Hux would never lay eyes on his beautiful form again, not for as long as he lived.

His brain froze, only allowing one tiny word to come through, repeating itself over and over, rising into a crescendo of melancholy.

ALONE

Hux collapsed on the floor, on his knees, his eyes too sore to expel anymore tears. His throat became raw, and stung viciously from screaming in anger and frustration.

He felt as if he were trapped inside a sealed box, with no oxygen, and being left to die slowly and painfully. 

"Come back to me, please!" he begged to nobody, and he sobbed in desperation.

There was a sharp knocking at Hux's door. He ignored it. The knocking continued and someone said "Sir?" gingerly from outside. Again, Hux paid no notice. There was a tiny thudding noise outside, and the sound of footsteps walking away from the door. 

Hux picked himself off the floor and went over to the door finally. He pressed the button and it slid open. Outside, lay something that made Hux's blood run cold, and stopped him in his tracks.

Kylo Ren's mask.

It was not burned, or soiled, it was in pristine condition, as Ren always liked to keep it. It's eyepiece stared at Hux as if to say 'Well, I'm here!' 

Hux swiftly picked up the mask and took it inside. He sat on the floor and held the mask to his forehead. Tears streamed down his face, some landing on the mask. 

And there Hux stayed, for hours, days, weeks, he didn't know or care. He would've stayed there for the rest of his life had he not work to attend to.

The mask provided little comfort for him, only made afresh the memory that his lover was gone. 

Kylo Ren was dead.  
Hux was alone.  
Alone.  
A L O N E

**Author's Note:**

> I cried writing this ngl


End file.
